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Autism &
Autism-Like Disorders
Where to Start: Understanding
How We Communicate
Flexibility
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Social Issues
Social issues are usually
the hot-button issue for children with autism or autism
spectrum disorders. In the toddler years, there can be
mini-crises, hurdles, and embarrassments, that can make
it painful to watch.
#1. Don't Sweat the Small
Stuff.
Advice #1, don't sweat the small stuff. Your child may
be on a different path of development, but what matters
the most is that your child grows up confident and
knowing how much he is loved.
Often these kids need a little more time to grow up and
confront the noisy, busy world outside their homes. They
are often closer to their parents and may rely on you
more for encouragement and solid grounding.
#2. Be Flexible.
Sometimes parents need to admit their wants for their
children - invitations to birthday parties and play
dates, and blending in at school functions or family
get-togethers, but often these kids have plans and time
frames of their own.
Look for opportunities to challenge your child, and help
her grow, but also see the big picture and recognize
that more will be achieved with incremental challenge
than the sink-or-swim approach to socialization.
#3. Be
Empathetic.
It's a little funny to see this one, isn't it? But your
understanding of what your child is going through may be
the most important single factor in your child's future
development.
Most children with autism or autism-like behaviors have
real learning blocks in appreciating language, visual,
auditory, or other sensory cues. This is a tremendous
obstacle in recognizing the feelings of others,
following quick and complex interpersonal interactions,
and forming deep relationships with people outside
immediate family.
If you have a child with significant social learning
challenges, you may have unfortunately witnessed
insensitivity and rudeness of others (peers or
professionals)- isn't it strange that bullying, or
social exclusion are considered "normal" aspects of
human relationships.
#4. Understand
Your
Child's Unique Wiring
Do all you can to
understand your child's unique wiring. Because the
current state of clinical practice is use a behavioral
checklist to lump different children into groups, you
may have to search for a deeper understanding of her
particular challenges as well as her strengths.
Social manners and skill are learned, not inborn.
Sensory, language, and emotional difficulties make it
harder to learn to smoothly connect with others, but not
impossible. Check out How We
Communicate, and think about what might be
applicable to your child.
#5. One Day at a Time
Take one day at a
time, and try to prioritize how you may help your child
meet his particular challenges. Try to remember if you
ever felt awkward or excluded, or you knew you weren't
doing something right, but didn't know what to do. Share
some of these stories with your child.
On these website pages and in The Mislabeled Child,
look to see how you can incorporate social and other
relevant practice (visual perceptual, language, etc.)
into your family and educational life. For many
children, their family members - parents, grandparents,
or siblings are their best first models for social learning.
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